Creative Director of  Milk Vilnius, Lithuania

It was the third red light in a row. Impatiently playing drums on the steering wheel I was contemplating all the “to-dos” I did not manage to squeeze into my day. This text was one of them. Let’s be honest, I just hate writing about myself, so I have been putting it off for as long as I could and then, when I couldn’t, I have still put it off. For me this is probably the hardest bit of being on the jury (this and deciding which of two mediocre pieces is less mediocre).

Think about it. Carefully weighing every word, you describe your ”stellar” advertising career and list all the awards the cleaning lady has to dust. You don’t use actual numbers. You say “numerous”, “several”, “recognized at”, etc. You start from the local shortlist and end with the international Grand Prix. Even if the latter is 12 years old and you had little to do with it. Yes, you can round up the number of years of experience a little, no one will know. Just don’t overdo it with words like “international” or “global”. And try to avoid superlatives. Instead opt for “one of the most…”, “highly recognized”, “one of the top” or “the hottest”. You gave a seminar once? Perfect, you’re a lecturer. No, it’s not exaggerating. It’s the truth well told. Now don’t forget to include a joke or two - you have to show off your creativity. Oh, and did I mention that all of this should be told in third person? “Sitting Bear doesn’t like it”, said the Cherokee chief Sitting Bear… On the other hand, Julius Caesar was doing it, Salvador Dalí was doing it, many great people were referring to themselves in third person. It’s called “illeism”. By the way, using such terms will make you look smarter (here’s a list of 100 words that could be useful: https://www.vocabulary.com/lists/258109#view=notes). An eccentric hobby like kintsukuroi wouldn’t harm either. Remember, at the end of the day your goal is to charm the participants who are entrusting their creations to your slightly hungover judgement.

Meanwhile “Nature Boy” was playing on the car radio (Don’t you find it strange the way Nat King Cole pronounces “love”? It sounds more like “laugh” or is it just me?). Anyway, I started singing along: “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to laugh and be laughed at in return…”. Out of tune, of course.